Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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