We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
