someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
