Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
