i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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