apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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