Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
