..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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