Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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