im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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