is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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