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So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
