I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
