the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
