Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
