she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
