@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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