I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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