you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
