Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
