i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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