i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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