Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
