i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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