I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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