She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
