is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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