dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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