She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dicks are not precious.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
