Just fell off a train. Bad.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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