Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
