grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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