This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
