She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
