youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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