I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
