i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
