dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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