I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
