i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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