I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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