I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
