Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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