Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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