I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize