The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
