yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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