I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
