She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
