I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Damn victory sex feels great
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
